We renewed a wonderful friendship over dinner a few nights ago.  It’s the kind of friendship everyone wants – and more importantly – needs.  Honest thoughts and words shared in an environment unburdened by any need to qualify or explain; a safe place.  The perspectives shared were helpful to all in many ways and they evoked a great deal of reflection all through the following night.

Two thoughts dominated the reflective moments: Dreams, and decisions.  We all shared dreams we held many, many years ago.  Interestingly, there was virtually no notable change in those dreams; they are ALL still alive, vibrant and resonate more deeply and broadly than ever.

We talked about decisions made, those we are making and those we are approaching.  Today we have much greater wisdom about the importance of each decision than we had 30 years ago, but we have no hesitancy whatsoever to engage and risk.

So, why am I sharing this with you?  It’s simple: you have (or had at some point in time) dreams for your future.  Are those dreams still alive in you, or have they been placed on a shelf for you to longingly look at and think of “what might have been”?  Are there any dreams for today and tomorrow stirring your heart, mind, soul and spirit?  If not, why not?

Dreams do require decisions to act in ways that turn the dreams into reality.  Every decision matters for today and tomorrow.  Some dreams are hindered by past decisions that cannot be changed, but experience tells me there are still dimensions of  even those dreams that can be realized IF I am willing to engage fully.  The one universal truth about decisions is this: everyone makes them everyday intentionally or by default.  I know intentional decisions are far more likely to have positive outcomes.

So, without sermonizing, I challenge you to revisit your dreams.  Then decide if you are going to pursue them.  Oh, by the way, decisions are not “head games”…if there is no demonstrable action, there was no decision.  Decisions that are genuine are ALWAYS followed by action.  Those actions are the building blocks of the dreams.

Overstating the obvious may be tedious but in this case it’s simply impossible to overstate the need for character at every level of life and leadership in our nation.   School teachers , attorneys, ministers, politicians, bankers,  entertainers, athletes, coaches, business owners, employees, and each of us as individual citizens… name the category and the need for character is clear.

My generation (boomers) heard the virtues of strong character extolled throughout childhood and early adult years, and it appears to me that the message did bear fruit in the majority of those lives.  While there has never been – nor will there ever be – societal perfection in this respect, we nevertheless held in esteem those who preached and lived with strength, stability and stamina in their fundamental character. 

Frequent public failures of character and integrity in these days seem to be creating an unspoken mindset which views character as a nice idea, but not as an important goal or an attainable / sustainable reality for very many people.   And, there are surely those who use the failures of others to justify their own behavior.  Yet, the fact of the matter is I am both privileged and responsible to determine my own character without respect to how anyone else does or does not live.

When I first heard,  ”charisma without character leads to chaos”, I understood it at a sophomore level.  Today, I understand it to be one of the most reliable and demonstrable truths I’ve ever encountered.  Charisma is a wonderful attribute in a life built upon character, but it is a terrible and destructive force in a life absent character.  The chaos that is is unleashed on individuals, families, communities, churches, businesses, states, governments and nations victimized by failures in character cannot be quantified, nor can it’s impact be hidden.  There are positive consequences to positive character, and negative consequences to poor character.

So, it starts with me…and you.  And the starting point may be as simple as answering this question:  Which component / trait of strong character is most in need of attention in my life today?  Identify it, and begin today to work on it.  Find an accountability partner to help in the process.  Find a person who models what you want to be and ask their guidance.  You can lay stones that strengthen your character beginning right now…if you truly want to do so.

When it comes to general skills and talents, it makes sense to maximize your strengths and work around your weaknesses.  But in the case of character, inattention to weakness is a sure and certain path to future chaos. 

I like to focus on what I can do to remedy or improve tough situations, versus focusing on all that I cannot do.  I’m really not a “head in the sand” guy at all, but the fact of the matter is that I cannot do a single thing about what is happening / has happened on Wall Street, and I surely have no opportunity to impact anything in Washington.  So, what can I do?

First, I get to choose my points of focus every minute of every day.  I’m not forced to keep the noise (oops, I meant news) on in the background 24 hours a day.  I’m not forced to allow anxiety to paralyze me or cause me to forget the simple joys of life.  And, I’m free to smile and speak positively  to family and friends, recognizing that when I encourage others I find myself encouraged as well.

Second, I’m free to choose my attitude about anything and everything.  Again, I’m not talking talking about being oblivious to all the sobering circumstances we face as a nation, but I am pointing out that I do not have to adopt as mine the attitude that says “it’s all over, and it’s getting worse.”  If we somehow think that an attitude like that doesn’t feed the negative cycle, then we need a reality check.  And if we think it doesn’t literally impact the quality of our lives, relationships, efforts, and service to others, then we are sadly misled.  You CAN CHOOSE how you will think AND feel about anything; Victor Frankl certainly proved that to be true.  It’s a mental challenge at times, to be sure, but it’s a far better use of mental and physical energy than fretting and worrying.

Last, I have absolute control over the quality of my efforts in my responsibilities.  I can be an attentive, alert, engaged steward of every opportunity to serve others, help my team, encourage my family, refine my practices for maximum results, set aside outdated and unproductive systems, etc, etc.  I can be creative and continue to re-invent the way I do things in a changing environment.  I can, as as summary statement, choose to be exemplary in all I do and say.  What greater sense of control does a person really need?

What can you do today?  What positive steps can you take in any realm of your life to improve the short-term circumstances and build a new foundational reality?  Whatever those steps are, they are totally and completely in your hands right now.

An amazing man joyfully stepped into eternity today.  Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, having given his best to the very end of this life now lives forever in the arms of the Lord Jesus Christ.  He made us all promise not to be sad for him when this moment came, assuring us that he would be more alive than he had ever been , filled with unspeakable joy and immersed in amazing love. 

Charlie accomplished more with his life in a typical day than some people do in a decade.  He encouraged, spoke, counseled, challenged, corrected, wrote, dreamed and acted on the dreams, demanded the best of himself, believed the best for others, beautifully loved his precious wife and family, and honored the Savior with a life that pointed others to Him.

His life of true character, integrity and compassion made richer every life he touched.  His example of stewarding the abilities and gifts God had given him inspired – and will continue to inspire – untold thousands to do their work “heartily as unto the Lord.”  His joy was contagious; you were going to end up smiling when Charlie crossed your path.  And, the hugs…oh my, the hugs…only Heaven knows the burdens he lifted and the hope he instilled by that simple, pure offering of love.

Charlie’s life was “Tremendous” in every dimension.  His life counted here and for eternity.  He made a positive difference for so many, but tonight I’m focused on the difference he made for me. 

I encourage you to go to www.ExecutiveBooks.com and get everything Charlie ever wrote or recorded.  Listen, read and apply what he suggests; you will never be the same.  Then, be about the business of living a life that makes a positive difference in your world.

Ron White says, “You can’t fix stupid.”  That may or may not be true, but I’m certain any individual, group or organization can employ one simple discipline to help minimize the visible and consequential presence of “stupid” in life.  The one step that is so amazingly and frequently overlooked is asking others for honest feedback on any possible course of action, behavior or choice of words I may be contemplating for my life.

Yes, some consider me a master of the obivous.  However, what may be considered obvious in some circles is clearly ignored entirely by a growing number of otherwise seemingly intelligent people.  In our personal, social and public lives and in our society at large we are witnessing “stupid” on a daily basis because someone didn’t (or wouldn’t) take time to ask a group of “trusted truth tellers” to offer perspective on a possible course of action.  If I won’t seek and take good counsel, “stupid” will probably become my ever-present companion.

I’m not suggesting that I have to do what “trusted truth tellers” suggest, but I am absolutely stating that the smartest people in the room grew smart in large part because of their discipline to seek and honestly assess the insight and wisdom others can offer. 

A partial listing of what has to happen to minimize “stupid” includes…

• A genuine willingness to let carefully selected others see / hear what is in me before I display it for the general public.
• Trusted-truth tellers: people who will speak truth in love to me, even if it ruffles my feathers, hurts my feelings or derails my plans.
• My internally generated discipline to 1) stay in that environment, 2) respect that environment and those people, and 3) give careful and honest consideration to what is said.
• A fundamental awareness that I can always benefit from additional information / perspective.

In any arena of life I can benefit from feedback.  Ken Blanchard rightly says that “feedback is the breakfast of champions”.   In marriage, with kids, with friends, in business, in positions of influence or positions of simple service, feedback before and after action is taken and words are spoken will become a wonderful friend who looks out for me and helps me minimize “stupid”.

 

Think for a minute about these current /recent popular songs:  John Mayer’s “Say”; Ronnie Milsap’s “My Life”; Tim McGraw’s “Live Like You Were Dying”.  Each one challenges me to get on with whatever living I’m wanting to enjoy, making whatever contributions I want to make to my world.

The lyrics in these songs bring to mind the “butterfly effect”, which simply suggests that when a butterfly in a rain forest on the other side of the planet flaps its wings the movement of air it creates eventually results in dramatically altered weather patterns on this side of the planet; maybe even a tornado!  The point of the “butterfly effect” for me is that everything we do matters.  Every moment is valuable, every word builds or erodes, and every action has either positive or negative consequences. 

It’s also true that everything we don’t do matters.  Moments unused, words unsaid, and actions not taken also bring consequences. 

It is literally breath-taking to realize that that my life could have impact in places and in ways that I may never have considered.  What a sense of energy and adventure that thought generates, and what a privileged stewardship life becomes when I live in that way!

So, what do you need to say or do?  Who is waiting for what only you can give?  What good or perhaps even awesome things might happen in the near or distant future if you get on with it right now?

The songs share truth; go live it out!

 My wife said something today I want to share: “I prefer Thanksgiving to Christmas because Thanksgiving is really about people and gratitude, while Christmas and it’s meaning often get lost in shopping and stress.”  If you are like me you say a hearty “amen” to that sentiment.  With that in mind I offer my reasons for giving thanks…

• My heart is beating; I’m still here.  Life is so very, very precious.

•  I’ll put my head on a pillow tonight next to a woman who loves me as I am, and inspires me to become more.

• I’ll rest in the safety of God’s amazing grace; He is Lord of all, and I belong to Him.

• My sons are amazing men of character, purpose and faith.

• My daughters-in-law are the perfect partners to their husbands.

• My grandson is a source of unspeakable joy.

• There is a roof over my head, heat to keep me warm and water to quench my thirst.

• There is food in the pantry.

• I have freedom to life, enjoy liberty and pursue happiness because of the continuing sacrifice and vigiliance of our armed services.

• There is adversity, challenge, disappointment, frustration and pain; they all present opportunity to grow more and gain more wisdom.

 I hope you will genuinely, thoughtfully and humbly give thanks for all the good things that are yours this moment.  And, I encourage you to offer thanks as well for the hard / bad things; they are intended to help you in ways otherwise unavailable.  A grateful heart is a tender and pliable heart, and it speaks outloud words of gratitude and thanksgiving.

You are blessed beyond measure.  Give thanks!

***If you want to read some things that will encourage you in the deepest ways, go to www.sharingencouragement.com.  You’ll be glad you did!!!

I’m all ears when someone begins to speak about the power for living a significant life.  So, I’m listening a lot these days since the subject is being addressed in every form of communication available to us.  The only problem is there are SO many suggested sources for this power; it’s more than a little confusing.  A short list of those I’ve seen includes:

• Having strong Intention
• Focusing on what you want
• Establishing a compelling purpose

• Learning some heretofore well-kept Secret

While there is value in some (but not all) of these concepts there is a principle that trumps them all: the principle of action.  I was reminded a few days ago that there is no power in intention; there is power in acting on the intention.  Focus doesn’t produce results, but focused action does.  A defined, compelling purpose for life or a given project is foundational, but it is useless apart from disciplined action toward that purpose.  Intelligent, impassioned, consistent action towards worthy goals is the power for significant living.  

Don’t get trapped inside your head.  Engage now in the actions that can take you to realization of the intentions, the focus and the purpose. 

 

Words can have an indescribably powerful impact in my life, good or bad.  I remember that totally bizarre  verse I’d sing when someone used words to hurt:  “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”  That is not the mother of all lies, but it’s close.  I can think of specific occasions right now when I would have gladly endured a broken bone rather than bear the pain of angry or condemning words.  Broken bones will heal, but broken hearts or spirits…well, that’s another story.

 So, I offer you / challenge you / encourage you to identify someone today to whom you can sincerely say at least one of these simple, profound, meaningul phrases with a smile on your face, kindness in your voice and good will in your heart:

• “I’ve been thinking about you” – Wow!  For someone to think about you in a positive way – and share that sentiment – has the effect of a cool breeze on a hot day.
• “I believe in you” – I’m more aware every day of how few people are ever praised, honored, affirmed, or otherwise valued.  Give that gift to someone; it costs you nothing but may mean everything.
• “I’m here for you” – I remember the first line of a song recorded by Christian artist Larnelle Harris that said, “alone again, in a crowded room…”.  Someone nearby is lonely or hurting today; your words may offer comfort beyond what you can see.

Words can hurt, but much more importantly they can help, heal and provide hope. 

“I’m a great believer that you can’t make anyone a champion unless they want to be a champion.  You can’t make someone something without it being inside of them to start with.”  

Sharon Davies, Swimming Silver Medal, 1980 Moscow Olympic Games

These words come from an Olympian with experiential knowledge on the subject.  Life observation suggests we are  safe to add this: the desire to become a champion has to be strong enough to motivate a day-by-day pursuit of champion-like traits and characteristics. 

It’s been said that having a will to win is truly not the issue; everyone wants to win.  Rather, having a will to practice as intensely as you would perform in competition is what makes a champion.  The rush of excitment a person feels when inspired fades at light-speed, but desire sufficient to produce daily action towards the goal is the ground from which a champion will spring.  When no one cheers, knows, or cares a champion will still demonstrate discipline, intelligent effort, and a commitment to excellence.

“What I do is what I really believe; all the rest is just talk.”  (unknown) Watch me for a while…you’ll know if I possess the genuine desire to be a champion.